New Year, New You

As we enter the new year with renewed energy and fresh perspectives, many contemplate our approach to finding love. Compatico's Relationship Expert, Tiare Tolks, shares invaluable insights on how to embrace dating in the new year with intention, authenticity, and self-awareness.

The summer advantage

The warmer months naturally bring an increased enthusiasm for dating. "There's more vibrancy in society generally during summer," notes Tiare. "The good weather creates an atmosphere where people feel more motivated to get out and connect." However, she emphasises that while summer offers natural advantages, it's less about timing and more about being intentional with what you want from dating in the new year.

Beyond dating resolutions

Rather than making dating your sole focus for the new year, Tiare advocates for a more holistic approach. "I'm a real big believer that the focus should never just be on dating in your life," she explains. "Think about filling multiple buckets in your life—pursue your interests, stimulate your mind and connect with people over shared values rather than just focusing on dating per se."

This approach isn't about becoming the 'best version of yourself' but feeling fulfilled in all quadrants of your life. When you pursue interests and find ways to grow and achieve, you naturally become more open to dating and, as Tiare points out, "probably a better date."

The art of being open

What does "putting yourself out there" actually mean? For Tiare, it's about being open to experience rather than fixating on finding 'the one'. "Be open and curious about anyone you meet," she advises. However, she's quick to clarify that this doesn't mean compromising your values or boundaries. "Having a rigid checklist and only looking for that in a person is going to continually disappoint. It's about accepting others' differences as well."

Building authentic confidence

The path to dating confidence starts with self-understanding. "Know who you are, do the work first," Tiare emphasises. "A lot of people have no clue who they are. Be clear about what matters to you and why, then live accordingly." She encourages people to pursue their interests rather than actively discussing them.

For those feeling stuck, Tiare recommends considering therapy if there are serious mindset blocks. "It's one thing to know, another to change it," she notes. "If there's been previous hurts and bad experiences, you probably want to figure out how you can let go of those."

Taking practical steps

As you consider your dating journey for the new year, Tiare suggests several practical approaches:

• Let friends know you're seriously looking

• Join clubs where you might meet people with like-minded interests

• Consider joining a professional matchmaking agency

• Be brave about expressing your dating intentions

The dual journey

Perhaps most importantly, Tiare emphasises that the journey to finding love should be paired with developing self-love. "You're the one you've been waiting for," she explains. "Make it a parallel duty to love yourself as well as look for love in others. If you don't love yourself, you will end up compromising yourself in a relationship."

Tiare's central message: "Don't go looking for love from others unless you're prepared to give it to yourself." It's about embracing both journeys, finding love and loving yourself, with equal dedication and intention.

Ready to try a different approach in 2025? Our team would love to discuss how we can help you, just book a free complimentary 15-minute chat here.