Is age just a number in love?

We've all heard it: ‘Age is just a number.’ But when it comes to dating and relationships, is it really that simple? While many people naturally gravitate toward partners close to their own age, others find love across more significant age gaps.

In this blog, we look into age-gap relationships and see if there’s a point where the age difference becomes more of a hurdle than a harmonious connection.

Research suggests that most couples fall within a similar age range, driven by shared social circles, common interests, and similar life stages - it’s easier when we all get the same pop-cultural references, right?

A substantial age gap — generally defined as 10 years or more — can introduce unique dynamics into a relationship. A recent study found that 61% of people believe an age gap can influence a relationship’s longevity. In comparison, 86 % believe that there’s a tipping point where the age gap becomes too significant for a healthy relationship.

Why is this the case? Cultural norms and expectations play more of a role than we would like to think, says Compatico’s Relationship Expert, Tiare Tolks: ‘As soon as people step out of the norms of how we do things, we can easily become judgy of each other,’ she says.

It turns out those side-eyes from friends and family can actually impact your love life. Studies have shown that when family and friends support a relationship, it tends to thrive, but disapproval from one’s nearest and dearest can lead to decreased satisfaction and a higher risk of infidelity, divorce, or break-up.

‘The reality is that external judgment can put additional strain on the partnership,’ says Tiare. ‘However, if love and connection are strong enough, and there’s a shared willingness to compromise and have uncomfortable conversations, the relationship can succeed.’

Different life stages can bring up some tricky scenarios. When one partner is winding down a career while the other is ramping up, or when one envisions a quiet life in the countryside while the other dreams of travelling the world, it can be difficult to align these life visions.

Tiare encourages asking crunchy questions such as, ‘What do we both want out of the next 10 years?’ and ‘Where are we both at career-wise?’. ‘These are the same conversations you’d hopefully have in any relationship, but disparities are more likely because of the age difference.’
Clear communication will ensure that both partners are on the same page and that their values align.

Power dynamics can also come into play in relationships with significant age gaps, particularly when one partner is more financially established. This can lead to imbalances in decision-making and influence.

‘People might wonder about the intentions behind the relationship when there’s a noticeable age gap,’ Tiare points out. ‘But as long as both partners are aware of these dynamics and address them openly, the relationship can still flourish.’

At the end of the day, it's all about that emotional connection. If you're on the same wavelength, share values, and communicate well, the relationship can do well.

‘If the love is deep because you're emotionally compatible and you share the same values, and you have both faced into obvious age related differences, then why shouldn't it work?’ Tiare asks. ‘As long as you're realistic about potential changes down the track, there’s no reason a relationship with an age gap can’t thrive.’

Navigating age differences in relationships can be challenging, but that's where matchmaking services shine.

At Compatico, we focus on what truly matters - your values, life goals, and emotional readiness. This nuanced approach ensures that partners with different life stages or experiences are matched based on deeper connections, enhancing the chances of a successful, fulfilling partnership - it certainly makes those gap-bridging conversations easier!