The return to meaningful connections

More and more people are stepping away from dating apps and rediscovering a more traditional approach to finding love. At Compatico, NZ’s leading matchmaking service, we’re witnessing this shift firsthand.

When dating apps first arrived, they seemed like the perfect solution. But somewhere between the endless swiping and countless "hey" messages, something important got lost. As our relationship expert and psychologist, Tiare Tolks, observes: ‘At the moment, we're in this world where we get onto the dating apps, receive 1,000s of messages, edit our profiles, game the algorithms, and have 10 people on the go – ghosting some, breadcrumbing some, benching some. Good people have got into the habit of unthinkingly doing mean things. It’s not good for anyone's self-esteem.’

In New Zealand’s dating landscape, many mature singles are discovering the value of focusing on one connection at a time. Tiare highlights this shift: ‘It's about going back to more straightforward, natural interactions. It's about bringing the mindset of wanting to develop a connection with one person and enjoying the actual process of getting to know each other without rushing towards commitment or feeling like you need to judge if they're 'the one' on the first date.’

This aligns with insights from Compatico’s research, which shows that 83% of over-45s prefer meeting through friends or trusted connections rather than navigating the fast-paced world of dating apps.

We've all felt the pressure to make quick decisions about potential partners. As Tiare points out: ‘Modern dating has become quite fast-paced. It's like dating once, making your decision about whether you're going to date them again, and then just looking for that instant gratification – that chemistry hit. I feel like people have become a lot more judgy of a date, which ultimately ends up costing themselves a lot. Unless there are glaring red flags, you can't possibly make a sound decision after one date.’

This approach often leads to dating burnout. Our research shows that 62% of users over 45 cite a lack of success on apps as a major frustration. A dating service like Compatico’s provides a more thoughtful, slower-paced experience that allows relationships to flourish naturally.

Matchmaking is experiencing a revival, offering a refreshing alternative to the superficial nature of many dating apps. Tiare notes: ‘When you've got someone who's doing the matching for you, they’re taking that first initial step out of it. An independent person can take your biases out of it and look at you based on important things like values, interests, and life goals.’

This isn’t about rejecting modern dating entirely. As Tiare explains: ‘We’re slowing it down. The expectation isn’t just about the thrill and the fun. We’re thinking more about connection.’

This intentional shift is helping mature singles focus on quality over quantity, a priority for those who have grown tired of apps. As Cindy Mitchener, Compatico’s Managing Partner, notes: ‘Our members have life experience – they’re looking for real connections with people who share their values and understand where they’re at in life.’

Dating doesn’t have to be overwhelming. There’s something refreshing about taking an intentional approach and giving each connection room to grow. With Compatico, one of the most trusted dating services in New Zealand, you’ve got someone in your corner who understands your journey.

Ready to try dating that feels more natural? Whether you’re new to the NZ dating scene or returning after a break, Compatico is here to help you find a meaningful connection.

Book a complimentary 15-minute Zoom with one of the team to learn more.