Skip to main content
BOOK A COMPLIMENTARY 15-MIN ONLINE CHAT TODAY
Blog
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Here's why you might want to skip the bar scene | October 2024

Skip the bar scene for deeper connections – here’s how

Let's talk about that classic ‘We met at a bar’ story - sounds romantic, right? But according to Compatico's Relationship Expert, Tiare Tolks, there might be better places to start your love story. She explains, ‘Bars and clubs are designed to be social spaces. People go there with the expectation that interaction with others, both planned and spontaneous, is part of the experience.’ But while these venues might seem like the go-to spot for meeting someone special, Tiare notes, ‘the connections you make are often not the true and genuine ones that you're looking for.’

< id="when-bar-goggles-get-in-the-way" class="flechaRegular"> When bar goggles get in the way

The bar scene comes with its own unique dynamic. As Tiare puts it, ‘As much as I don't like it, the intoxicant factor that often occurs in bars does result in less inhibitions, so people are often more open to approaching someone.’ And while there's a certain appeal to this environment - ‘There's probably an element of anonymity that makes it feel less pressurised,’ Tiare says - these connections often don't translate into the meaningful relationships we're hoping for.

< id="where-the-magic-really-happens" class="flechaRegular"> Where the magic really happens

So where should you look instead? ‘If you want to find true connection with people who you identify with, I'm a really big fan of activities-based pursuits,’ Tiare says. Her suggestion? ‘If you like sailing, then get on a sailing crew. Or if you like hiking, join a hiking group.’

The beauty of this approach is that it creates natural opportunities for connection. Tiare explains, ‘The pressure goes off you, and a lot of the conversation can be about the environment you're in.’ Even better: ‘A lot of side-by-side activity is when the best conversations take place because there isn't that sense of intensity.’

Tiare says magic often happens outside our comfort zone: ‘Sometimes when you're out of your comfort zone, that's when your real self comes through.’ Whether trying a new hobby or joining a different social circle, you might be surprised at what (or who) you discover.

< id="let-things-flow" class="flechaRegular"> Let things flow

Instead of treating every social interaction like a mission to find ‘the one’, Tiare says, just enjoy the moment. When you're focused on being in the present moment and enjoying what you're doing, that's when things can start to happen because you are comfortable in yourselves and not seeking validation,’ she says.

< id="find-a-connection-without-the-pressure" class="flechaRegular"> Find a connection without the pressure

At Compatico, this approach guides much of what we do. ‘We're trying to do things that push people a little bit out of their comfort zone,’ says Tiare. Through our matchmaking services and events like the upcoming cooking class, we're creating spaces where connections can unfold naturally, turning everyday activities and shared interests into opportunities for meaningful encounters.

Ready to skip the bar scene and find real connections? Join Compatico today and discover a world of meaningful interactions through activities you love. Want to hear more about what we offer? Book a complimentary 15-minute online chat with one of our team