An ode to my (once) single dad
Compatico owner Elise Dalrymple-Keast and her dad Russell Keast.
Can you be a great parent and date again? Does dating while raising kids inflict life-long trauma? CEO and owner of Compatico, Elise Dalrymple-Keast, shares her experience watching her own father navigate single parenthood and eventually find happiness.
As Father's Day approaches, I find myself reflecting on the man who taught me some of the most significant lessons about love, loss, and resilience.
My father's journey as a single parent showed me that great fathers show up consistently, rebuild when necessary, and prove that loving your children and finding love again aren't mutually exclusive.
Starting from zero: The early years
I was 5 years-old when my parents separated, and honestly, it came as no surprise—I have more memories of them arguing than not.
Dad and I have always been close. He used to be a builder, so much of my early years were spent nailing together blocks of wood (under supervision) so I could be like Dad. For the first few years after separation, my every-second-weekend visits to Dad’s looked like sharing a room in a two-bedroom flat he split with another single dad. Dad bought bunk beds so I could have the top bunk and more floor space to play with my toys.
But Dad was facing more than just the juggle of single parenthood. A chronic illness forced him to retire from physical labour in his late 30s and retrain professionally. Not only was he juggling parenting, fighting the family court for 50/50 custody, and full-time work and part-time study—but the medication to manage his illness made him so fatigued that he would close his eyes at traffic lights and ask me to wake him when they turned green. Yet somehow, two years after separation, he finished his studies and qualified as a quantity surveyor.
Watching this from the sidelines taught me that you have two choices in difficult times: bow down your head and give up or find a way to pivot and keep moving.
The comeback: building a new life
Dad’s career change brought an income jump that allowed him to buy a tiny "doer-upper" ex-council flat. Weekends and evenings were spent renovating together—or rather Dad renovating and me holding the tape measure and making cups of Milo. Soon after, he began property managing a friend's investment property as a side hustle, which eventually turned into an opportunity to purchase it cheaply. Within two years, Dad had gone from starting at zero to owning two properties and establishing a new career.
Life certainly wasn’t glamorous in that period: Dad drove a beat-up station wagon, dinners were some variation of boiled veggies, sausages and mashed spud, and money was spent on essentials only. But to me, it didn’t matter. I had everything I needed, and I was allowed to paint the inside of the office and the walls of the garden shed however I wanted (at age seven, this looked like colourful dogs and love hearts). Looking back, this taught me that it’s not material things that bring happiness, but quality time and memorable experiences.
Teaching money and work ethic
Aside from modelling tenacity and unconditional love, Dad gave me valuable skills that are fundamental to who I am today. Money management and work ethic were non-negotiables. "I don't care what you do, as long as you're happy and you're earning money" and "get on the property ladder as early as you can" were two of his high-repetition mantras.
If I wanted something, I was encouraged to save for it myself. This once backfired spectacularly when I was seven and wanted a dog. Dad told me I could buy one if I saved the money—no doubt thinking, what money does a seven-year-old have? A few months later, I'd saved $100. When Dad bought the weekend trade magazine, I excitedly found a puppy for exactly $100, ran to my room, grabbed my money box, and frantically started counting coins to double check I had enough cash. Dad remained true to his word, and we bought the dog the very next day—with me proudly handing over my plastic bag (the kind you put fruit in at the supermarket) of $100 almost entirely in coins to a very bemused seller.
The lessons in financial literacy continued into my teenage years. When I wanted to go on exchange to Germany at age 15, Dad told me I needed to contribute 60% of the program costs plus spending money. I found a job at an ice cream shop and began working 2-3 days per week to save up.
Dad taught me the value of hard work, moving towards a goal and being good with money. Most importantly, he showed me that life's biggest curveballs can be managed with tenacity, positivity and grit. Thanks to these early lessons in financial literacy and persistence, I now have property and business investments leading toward financial success at age 29.
Somehow among the chaos of raising me, Dad started dating again. I always enjoyed meeting his partners—they were invariably kind to me. But most importantly, I didn't want Dad to end up alone. I remember watching an old advertisement showing a young girl growing up and moving out, leaving her elderly father living alone. I knew I didn't want that to be my dad.
When I was 10, Dad met my now step-mother. She brought many positive changes: being a rock for dad, upgrading his wardrobe, and welcoming us into her larger family, which included two sons similar in age to me. After years of Dad and I being plus-twos at other people's Christmas celebrations and family gatherings, it was amazing to be part of a larger family who had those celebrations of their own.
Teenage turbulence
Blending families wasn’t all Brady Bunch and smooth sailing. I was a tricky teenager—doing well at school with great friends, but struggling to find my identity between two warring parents and layers of conflict I didn't fully understand. I clashed with Dad. I clashed with my step-mum. They clashed with each other about my clashes with them. It was difficult for everyone. But through it all, Dad kept showing up—even when it was infuriating, heartbreaking, and disappointing. His commitment to me and my stepmother has paid off 10-fold in his relationships with the both of us today.
No matter what, Dad was always there in my corner going above and beyond. When I started attending parties as a teenager, he would cram me and six of my friends into his ute for drop-offs, and would pick us all up three hours later. Not only that, but he'd cook a batch of pasta in individual plastic containers for everyone, ensuring nobody drank on empty stomachs.
What single fathers need to know…
As the owner of a matchmaking agency, I talk to many awesome single dads. A common concern I hear from these men is that committing to dating will make them less of a good father, or that their focus on parenting will be unappealing to potential partners.
From my perspective as a child watching my Dad enter the dating world, I was thrilled to see him pursue companionship rather than worrying about him being alone. A big part of this was that my Dad was awesome at always making me feel like I was loved. Because I felt secure in his affections, it made it easier for me to welcome his new partner.
When talking to the single fathers within our membership who are navigating dating and parenting, I often recommend having a weekly “check-in” with the person you’re dating to see how you’re both feeling. Being a parent may be your top priority, but making regular time to sense check with a potential partner ensures that they feel their emotional needs are being met too. Dating as a parent is certainly more challenging than dating while childless, but with intentional planning, it’s possible to develop a fulfilling relationship while still being a champion dad.
A Father’s Day message
To all the single dads out there (mine included): Happy Father's Day.
It's not an easy road, and you'll never get it 100% right. But being an awesome dad requires neither perfection nor sacrificing your entire personal life. It's about showing up consistently over time and doing what you say you'll do. When you do that, it's absolutely possible to have a thriving professional life, a great relationship with your children and with a new partner.
For me, watching my Dad rebuild his life professionally, financially, and romantically gave me a much lower fear of adversity or failure—showing me it's not about the fall, but about how you rebuild afterward.